Fact: The average amount of time it takes for a man to orgasm is approximately six minutes. Compared to the 10 to 20 minutes it takes for the average woman to orgasm, you’ve got a bit of a deficit to make up for. So while you shouldn’t be too worried if you’re not going for marathon hour-plus sessions, you might want to last a little longer in the sack. But before you start doing kegels and resorting to strange online remedies to last longer, you can increase your sexual endurance with something as simple as changing up your position.
Specific sex positions are an effective way to delay your gratification while building hers because they emphasize clitoral stimulation (rather than deep penetration) and put you in control, so you can ease off when you feel like you’re on the brink. Here are eight positions that’ll help you go out with a (aptly timed) bang.
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Spooning
Spooning is arguably the best position to help you last longer. The penetration is on the shallow side, so you won’t get overstimulated. Lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You should be behind her (in the “big spoon” position). Initial penetration can be a little tricky since it’s hard to see where you’re going. Have her lift her top leg for easier access, then use your finger to find her vagina and guide yourself in. Focus on grinding against her rather than thrusting.
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The Twist
If you’re enjoying spooning, have her spread her legs apart so they’re in a scissored position. She’ll stay on her side, but you’ll shift your body on top of hers. (This is the position you’d be in for Missionary.) Your chest and stomach will press against her side as you grind. This is a nice position to transition into for a few minutes before going back to spooning. Think of it as an interlude of sorts: It creates some different angles for you both, but isn’t so intense that you’ll lose control.
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Face-to-Face
Lie on your sides, facing each other. It might take a little bit of wriggling around to get into the right position, especially if you’ve got a good height difference. Have her lift her top leg and wrap it around your waist. You can’t get super-deep penetration, just like spooning, so this won’t be too overwhelming. It’s a romantic, intimate position you’ll both enjoy.
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Missionary Grind
Missionary is typically a position that’s hard to last very long in, because most men rapidly thrust in and out. Instead, try grinding against her. It may help if you lift your body up a few inches—closer to her head than usual—and have her spread her legs wider. This position has the added bonus of giving her plenty of clitoral stimulation, increasing the odds you’ll climax around the same time.
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Missionary Outercourse
This is another variation on traditional missionary. Lean over her body and place your penis between her labia. Grind against her, rubbing your penis against her clitoris. As the name suggests, you’re not penetrating her. This eases the intensity of missionary, but still gives you plenty of closeness and wetness. It also gives her the clitoral stimulation she needs.
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Lotus
Sit up with your legs lightly crossed in front of you. (You don’t need to get into full pretzel position if you’re not flexible enough.) Have her lower down onto your lap, facing you. She should wrap her legs around your back. From here, the two of you grind against each other. This position works really well because there’s virtually no in-and-out motion; it’s just grinding. But the penetration is really deep, so it still feels fantastic. It’s a good go-to when you need to take a bit of a break when things get too hot and heavy.
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The Cross
This is a little hard to envision, so think as if she’s sitting on your lap while lying down. You’ll come up on your side, facing her. Have her lie on her back, then align your crotches and have her drape both her legs over the side of your body. Together you’ll form a cross-like shape. The initial penetration can be a bit tricky, but once you’re in, the two of you can gently rock against each other. This is another position where you have a limited range of movement, so it’s easier to stay in control.
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Lying Doggy
A lot of guys reserve doggy style till the end of sex because it’s such a gratifying position (aka it’s hard to last very long). This variation preserves what you love about the move, but helps you stay in control. Start off in regular doggy style. Lower down until she’s lying flat on her belly and your stomach is pressing the top of her back. It’s like you’re in missionary, only she’s flipped over. Grind against her, or try slowing thrusting in and out. If you find you’re slipping out, have her lift her butt and arch her back a bit.
