A girl I’m dating brought out a vibrator during sex and suggested we use it. Can you give me any specifics on how to get the most out of the thing? (And I assume her buying it doesn’t mean I’m not doing my job—right?) – BILL N., FLAGSTAFF, AZ
DR. NELSON: First, the reason they call a vibrator a sex “toy” is because it’s supposed to be fun. It can never replace you, so don’t worry. A vibrator’s a great way to create extra stimulation for her clitoris while you’re inside her, and may help give her that all-elusive orgasm during intercourse.
All women need clitoral stimulation to climax, so don’t be shy—make the sex toy your friend.
DR. KERNER: Even if it’s shaped like a penis, focus on stimulating the vulva rather than penetrating the vagina. Think of it as a gentle tongue rather than a thrusting penis. Put it on low, get into the Zen of the moment, and lightly press the vibe against her clitoris; let her do the moving and grooving.
As there’s often an arousal gap between the sexes, a vibe is a great way to get her close to orgasm so you can take some of the pressure off your penis. If you’re not sure what to do, put her hand over yours and let her give you a guided tour.
