Dr. Michael Aaron, Ph. D., psychotherapist/sex counselor: Sex with a third person is tricky because it brings a potentially destabilizing element into the relationship. So when you discuss it with her, I’d focus on 1) creating a new fantasy experience with her and 2) her needs and pleasure.
That is, be sure it’s about bringing you closer, not providing a guilt-free way for you to have sex with another woman.
Dr. Tammy Nelson, Ph.D., psychotherapist/sex therapist: To avoid jealousy, tell her you think a threesome could be really hot for her, not just for you.
But: It’s best to avoid doing it with someone she knows or you could set yourself up for a problem: Are you comparing her with her friends? Do you desire someone else? Instead, let her pick the girl so you both feel secure.
Also, set the rules for kissing, oral, and intercourse before you get into bed.
You could find that after all this talk, you’re so excited you don’t even need a threesome!
Jena Friedman, Writer/Stand-Up Comic: I’ve never had a threesome, but if I had to guess, I’d say be sure it’s consensual and the other woman’s legal (agewise, not immigration-wise—illegal immigrants need threesomes, too!). Then I’d hope she’s pro-choice, so if a condom breaks and she gets pregnant…
And rather than talk about it with your gf up front, maybe Netflix and chill to Love—a film with beautiful (but awful) actors about a threesome that goes badly awry—and float the idea then.
Worst case, she laughs it off but you guys still get off to the porniest film on Netflix!
