After laying the groundwork for weeks, you finally sealed the deal with that smokin’ new chick. You had fun. She had fun. But for some reason, she doesn’t seem interested in going at it again. But before you freak and assume that your performance is to blame for her loss of interest, you may want to consider what you did after the grand finale that could have turned her off from the idea of a second rendezvous. In fact, most women are willing to overlook a sub-par performance in bed. However, giving a second chance to a dude who made major a faux-pas after the deed was done is far less likely. Why? In a phrase: Sex skills can be refined, being an inconsiderate a**, typically can’t.
To ensure all of your lady lovers will want to come back for more, we asked 19 remarkably candid women to reveal their biggest post-sex pet peeves. Read on to get in the know, do better next time, and we can practically guarantee she’ll be begging for round two.
1. When he calls me an Uber right after
“After sex, this guy I went home with immediately asked me if I was planning to stay over. Before I could even get a word out—or put my clothes on for that matter—he offered to get me an Uber. Needless to say, I never texted him again.” — Jeanne, NH
2. When he immediately texts his friends
“I was hooking up with this guy who would immediately start texting his friends to make plans for the night after we had just had sex. And most of the time, he didn’t even invite me to hang out with them. Hello! I’m still here. Making plans with other people and excluding me is rude. At least wait until I leave.” — Diana, WA
3. When he passes out
“I can’t stand it when he rolls over and falls asleep instantly after we finish. I get that great sex takes a lot out of you (literally and figuratively) but the least you can do is be the big spoon after you’ve toweled off.” — Jean, NY
4. When he doubts his performance
“It’s a major turn off when he complains about his ‘performance’ after sex. It takes away from the experience we just had and makes him seem insecure.” — Kelly, PA
5. When he jumps to social media
“When my guy starts scrolling through Instagram or Facebook immediately after sex it makes me feel like he’s bored with me. I hate that.” — Jessica, NJ
“Don’t ask me after sex if I came. If you’re not sure, the answer is no. It’s a huge turnoff that you’re totally clueless and it’s awkward when I have to tell you that I didn’t.” — Sarah, CO
7. When he doesn’t participate in the panty search
“I hate it when the guy doesn’t help me find my clothes after sex. You took off my underwear, you should be helping me dig through the covers to find them. Don’t just ogle me and watch me struggle.” — Julie, TN
8. When he sulks if he didn’t get his way
“I once dated a guy that was super dismissive when he didn’t get his way in bed. I’m not at your beck and call, buddy. Grow up and don’t pout. Sex has to be fun and comfortable for both people involved. Don’t act like a baby if we don’t always have the same agenda.” — Jesse, CA
9. When he gives a play-by-play
“I hate when guys give a replay of the entire sexual encounter, from foreplay to finish. I was there, I know what happened. Mentioning one or two things that you particularly enjoyed is hot, but reliving every last detail is annoying.” — Eliza, 25
10. When he wants to cuddle
“There’s nothing worse than a post-romp cuddle. We just had sex. I’m sweaty, you’re sweaty, we’re both naked, the last thing I want to do is hug it out.” — Ashenna, OH
“I was dating this guy that patted my ‘lady parts’ after sex like he was giving my vagina a high five. It made me feel like I was his football teammate and not his girlfriend. Not to mention, it was totally weird.” — Ashley, FL
12. When he spoils the mood
“There have been instances where the guy I’m hooking up with will talk about work or his mom immediately after sex. Such a buzzkill.” — Beth, RI
13. When he asks for food
“I can’t stand it when guys immediately ask for something after sex. No, I don’t want to make you a sandwich, fill your water glass, or scratch your back. I need to chill for a few minutes. I just let you grunt and sweat all over me.” — Catie, AZ
14. When he won’t put his junk away
“I hate when guys walk around naked after sex with everything hanging out. Like chill, we just got done! Put on some boxers, take a seat and breathe for a minute.” — Bobbi, NJ
15. When he refuses to kiss
“This guy I was seeing wouldn’t kiss me after (or during) sex if I went down on him during foreplay. Telling me to go to the bathroom to wash out my mouth is disrespectful and makes me wonder why you’re so grossed out by the fact that your penis was in my mouth.” — Amanda, NY
“It’s really annoying when the guy gets up for a tissue or water after sex and doesn’t offer to get me anything. I just worked my ass off to give you an amazing ride, the least you could do is be a good host. Just sayin’.” — Gina, DE
17. When he’s selfish
“I hate boys that finish before you do and lay on top of you with an annoying smirk as if they didn’t mean to finish so fast. The best lovers are the selfless ones.” — Natalie, NJ
18. When he boasts
“I hate it when a guy says ‘that was so great,’ solely speaking for himself. Don’t be selfish in bed, guys—or, at least, don’t rub in how wonderful your time was if you didn’t return the favor.” — Megan, NJ
