Are you a wimp in bed?

When you throw the word “wimp” into the gears and grinders of the machine that is Google, do you want to know what you’ll find? “A weak and cowardly or unadventurous person.” The synonyms? Aside from the aforementioned “coward” and “weakling” there are bizarrely emasculating terms like “namby-pamby,” “pantywaist,” and words that we’ve never even heard of like “milksop” and “milquetoast.” 

Is that how you want a woman to describe you in bed? No, you’re damn right you don’t. So, stop second-guessing, taking a backseat, and avoiding conversation and confrontation. Heed the advice of these 18 extraordinarily candid women who’ve outlined scenarios and traits they say make a guy a wimp in the sack. 

Disclaimer: Always, ALWAYS be sure you have consent and you’re both on the same page. There is a very real difference between being a “man” and making a woman feel uncomfortable.

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“It’s very unattractive when a guy isn’t confident in himself, his, body, and what he’s doing.” – Alex W.

“If he’s too afraid to give me what I ask for. I like guys who take charge because that power aspect is attractive to me.” – Danielle C. 

“Being selfish. Not being manly enough to enjoy making things hot for your partner is weak.” – Erin K. 

“I hate when a guy says, ‘It’s up to you,’ in bed. It was up to me to get you in here, now it’s your turn to take control.” – Julia C. 

“When he doesn’t speak up and say what he wants or how he wants it.” – Melissa C. 

“If he doesn’t take control at any point.“ – Lauren P. 

“Preemptively warning that it won’t take very long.” – Lauren R. 

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“I don’t know if this necessarily makes him a wimp, but I find lack of verbal communication a bit frustrating. I don’t like guessing what he likes—just tell me!” – Athena L. 

“Please don’t try to ‘make love’ to me.” – Sarah H. 

“When he’s not adventurous or simply doesn’t know how to get you off—and whines about it.” – Jackie W. 

“Not being confident, talking too much, and not taking control of the situation.” – Rachael F.

“Don’t ask for a blow job if you’re going to get squeamish about reciprocating.” – Sarah G. 

“If I think he’s always too careful and vanilla all the time. Yes, be respectful of the woman you’re with, of course, but surprising her with new things and taking some initiative is super sexy.” – Tiffany K.  

“Early ejaculation. No girl wants her world rocked for two minutes.” – Alexa P. 

“Not being dominant enough.” – Carly G.

“When men don’t take control and get nervous to move women around. Sometimes the innocence of him not knowing is cute, but after a while it’s a turn off.” – Christina S. 

“When you suggest trying something new and he answers, ‘Why?” – Nicole C. 

“Don’t ask me ‘Does that feel good?’ Trust me, you’ll know if it does or doesn’t.”