You don’t need a special occasion to go all-out in the bedroom. It may seem more romantic to light her fire after a wedding or a party, but odds are one of you will be too drunk to have a good quality romp. Make sex exciting all the time by breaking out of the cookie-cutter positions and listening to your girl. Do you know what she really wants between the sheets? She’s definitely fantasized about it before—you just need to tease it out of her.
The key to unleashing her greatest orgasm ever may require a lot of bells and whistles (à la 50 Shades of Grey) or it may be simpler than you think. We asked real women for their favorite forms of foreplay, sex, and more—so you can end the night with a grand finale, not a flop.
“Never underestimate the power of a few well-placed kisses. It drives me crazy when my boyfriend starts kissing the nape of my neck and gently nibbling on my ear lobe—I get tingles all the way down to clitoris. After a few minutes I’m literally begging him to just put it in.” —Tess, 27
2. Talk dirty
“You don’t have to save all the naughty stuff for the bedroom. If you’re out at a fancy dinner, tell your girl how badly you want her across the table. If you’re at a bar, put your hand on her ass and tell her the things you’ll do to her when you get home. Telling women how desirable they are will give them the confidence to act out all your dirty fantasies later.” —Marianna, 31
3. Be a boob man
“It drives me insane when my boyfriend takes the time to pay attention to my boobs. I don’t just mean grabbing, I mean kissing and licking until my nipples are hard and then giving them little bites. By that time I’m usually so wet that just a little fingering will make me cum—and the times he’s bitten down while his hand is down there I’ve had the most mind-blowing orgasms ever.” —Laine, 27
4. Touch yourself
“I know it may sound strange, but watching my boyfriend get himself off is such a turn on. I’ll start by lying down naked next him, my body against his, and play with his member until he gets hard. Then I put his hand down there and just rub my body against him and watch. I think it makes me so hot ’cause it’s kind of taboo, something he would do in private, but I also like actually seeing how much I turn him on.” —Leslie, 25
5. Let her take charge
When my fiancé and I are doing it missionary I usually feel as if I’m on the brink of coming and it makes me go totally wild. I’ll push him back so I can get on top, place my arms on his to hold them down, and just ride him hard until I cum—and keeping eye contact the whole time makes it extra intense. So my note to guys is, there’s nothing wrong with lying back and just enjoying the view.” —Brooke, 24
6. Get wet
“Everyone talks about shower sex, but on nights when it’s cold out or on a lazy Sunday draw a bath and get in together. Since you’re both in the water you don’t have to worry about the water flying in your face or one of you getting cold. Adding bubbles is a nice touch, too. Since some of your body is hidden, it helps with loosening inhibitions.” —Julie, 29
7. Women like porn, too
“It doesn’t happen often, but every now and then when my husband and I are feeling especially frisky we’ll put some porn on. We’ll take turn getting on our knees and going down on each other while the other sits on the couch and the finish by going at it doggy style.” —Nikola, 30
8. Doggy style 2.0
“My favorite sex position is when I lie down on the bed and a guy takes me from behind. Keeping a steady rhythm and grabbing my ass real tight will usually end with us coming at the same time and pretty quickly—it’s that good.” —Frieda, 23
9. Find the spot
“If a guy is going down on me I love when they take time to kind of ‘explore’ what’s going down there instead of just incessantly rubbing or poking. Gently licking my clit and then slowly rubbing it until I orgasm is just so intense, and it makes me feel like my partner cares about making me get off.” —Chloe, 26
10. Dirty spooning
“I love waking up after a good night’s rest with my boyfriend spooning—and being able to feel how hard he is. Instead of just acting like neither of us notices, I love when he gently grabs my thigh and starts touching me down there. When he puts it in, the nice, tight fit from that angle makes it feel incredible for both us.” —Yana, 25
11. Set her fantasies in motion
“There have been a few times during sex where I’ve admitted to my boyfriend that I want him to tie my hands up one night and just take me. I’m a little too shy to actually instigate it, though, like to actually buy handcuffs or rope ahead of time. Then one night as we were about to get it on my boyfriend reached in the bedside table and told me he had a surprise for me—and brought out two silk scarves to tie my hands with. The fact that he got my fantasy ready-to-go was as amazing as the experience actually felt.” —Katie, 28
“Some of the hottest sex my husband and I have is right when we get home from work. There’s something incredibly hot about him propping me up on his lap on the couch while we’re both still in our work clothes. So I’d tell guys not to bother with the undressing. Just pull your girl’s stockings down, unzip your pants and do it. Getting dirty while you’re still in that office—mind frame and outfit kind of makes you feel like you’re in your own porn movie.” —Paulina, 32
13. Open the toy chest
“I love a man who isn’t intimidated by sex toys. If you know your girl has some, ask her to bring them out and let you be the one to pleasure her with them. For me, since I usually use my vibrator alone and on myself, it feels like I’m letting a guy in on naughty little secret when I let him be the one to tease me with it. And of course, nothing actually feels better than the last minute of substituting the toy for the real thing.” —Adri, 24
14. 69 redux
“I feel like the 69 position gets called out a lot for be ‘outdated,’ (and it definitely isn’t!), but why not switch it up a bit? I love when a guy straddles me so that his member is right against my mouth and I can give him a blowjob from that angle or stick out my tongue and have him tap his stuff against it…it really is a turn on for both us.” —Jenna, 29
15. Brave the elements
“Everyone talks about taking sex al fresco in the summer, but it’s actually so hot and sticky then and do you want to spend half the time batting away mosquitos? I much prefer going on an autumn hike, working up a little sweat, and then having a quickie out in the elements. The feel of cold air against your skin is honestly exhilarating—and even more spontaneous than just getting it on at the beach after dark.” —Demi, 26
