You may have just thrown down serious bills on dinner, complimented her all night, and used your best moves when kissing her, but you aren’t in the clear yet. Surprisingly, these are not the things that matter most to women when she’s deciding whether or not she wants to have sex with you tonight.
Her decision comes down to the tiniest things you do and say, and she holds all the cards. If you commit any of these crimes, sex will be off the table in as little time it takes you to rip your clothes off.
10 sex deal-breakers, according to real women
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1 OF 10
1 of 10
A swampy crotch
“During foreplay, if I’m feeling generous, I might go down there for a little bit. But if I’m greeted by a smelly jungle, I am immediately repelled. Why on earth would I want that thing near my lady parts?” — Candice, 29
2 of 10
Raw meat
“When you’re making out back at a guy’s place, nothing ruins the moment and stops me in my tracks quite like the standard, ‘oh, I don’t have a condom’ speech. ‘Don’t worry. I’m clean.’ Um…no. Not gonna happen. First of all, if he didn’t take the time to go out and buy condoms before I came over (that takes, what, like three minutes?), then it makes me think I’m not a priority in his life. Second, if we haven’t been dating long and he’s willing to have sex without a condom, it makes me wonder who else he’s done that with and how clean she was…” —Cat, 25
3 of 10
Better sex: Bedroom Dealbreakers
Forced fellatio
“During foreplay, I hate when a guy forces my head down to his dick like I’m some kind of animal and don’t know what I’m doing. Pushing on my head is so unsexy and insulting. Blatantly asking for it is a turn-off in general, if I want to say no, it makes me feel pressured and uncomfortable. If I want to say yes, it makes me think you have no game and do not know how to turn on a woman without saying something awkward.” — Melody, 25
4 of 10
A dirty bachelor pad
“When trying to get a glass of water at his place (although he should have brought it to me), seeing that the trash is overflowing with old food, sink/counter are full of dishes, or there are any kind of bugs or insects present, it is a definite no-go. If a guy keeps his home and food this disgusting, how unclean are the rest of his habits? Grooming and washing, etc. The situation makes me think he is a filthy person in more aspects of his life.” —Cat, 25
5 of 10
Horseplay
“I am not talking about rough sex here. That is completely different and okay at times. I am talking about when a guy brings you home, and starts treating you like his little brother just because he is bigger than you. I’ve had a guy literally try to wrestle with me in his house, full on. It was extremely unpleasant, not impressive, and just made me think he might be like a weird rabbit in bed.” —Mary, 31
6 of 10
An empty stomach
“If he doesn’t have an appetite and doesn’t eat for whatever reason, that’s just weird and makes passion seem highly unlikely. If we are going to have hot passionate sex, where is he going to get his energy from if he didn’t eat? Also, it makes me feel self-conscious; if he’s not eating, it makes me question myself ; ‘should I not be eating too? is it bad that I did?’ and after those thoughts I definitely don’t want to get naked with this guy. Whether it’s the first time we’ve had sex, or the fifth, it’s officially off the table for tonight. I love food! If he doesn’t, than we are clearly incompatible.” —Kyla, 27
7 of 10
Too much information
“Excuse me? Did I really need to know that? Even if we’ve been dating for a while and that kind of conversation is more acceptable, it doesn’t really put me in the mood. Post-poop sex—not that I would know—seems smelly and dirty. So if you need to unload before sex, don’t announce it.”—Megan, 30
8 of 10
Bad jokes
“This isn’t funny in any situation, but I’ve had a guy make jokes about it pre-sex; if I’m playing a little hard-to-get, he’d say something like ‘don’t make me rape you, hahaha.’ Wait…what? That is a disgusting and scary topic not to be discussed during foreplay if we don’t know each other well yet, unless you are trying to get me out of your bed and running for the door.” —Julia, 27
9 of 10
Moving too fast
“Kinky sex is great. Love it. But you have to be comfortable with the person on many levels for it to be that great. If he starts tying my hands up or something kinky when we’ve only had sex like three times, it freaks me out a little bit, makes me tense up, get self-conscious, aka, no sex.” —Lindsay, 29
10 of 10
Living with your parents
Living at home at our age is really just not hot. I get that in some dire circumstances it’s necessary, but – and maybe this is superficial of me – it just makes me think the guy can’t take care of himself, therefore can’t take care of me, and is probably either very selfish or very wimpy in bed. If you do live with your parents and I have accepted this and we are dating, do not ask to take me back to your parents’ place late one night. It is uncomfortable and definitely not the way, or time, I want to be introduced to them. — Maria, 26
“During foreplay, if I’m feeling generous, I might go down there for a little bit. But if I’m greeted by a smelly jungle, I am immediately repelled. Why on earth would I want that thing near my lady parts?” — Candice, 29
Raw meat
“When you’re making out back at a guy’s place, nothing ruins the moment and stops me in my tracks quite like the standard, ‘oh, I don’t have a condom’ speech. ‘Don’t worry. I’m clean.’ Um…no. Not gonna happen. First of all, if he didn’t take the time to go out and buy condoms before I came over (that takes, what, like three minutes?), then it makes me think I’m not a priority in his life. Second, if we haven’t been dating long and he’s willing to have sex without a condom, it makes me wonder who else he’s done that with and how clean she was…” —Cat, 25
Forced fellatio
“During foreplay, I hate when a guy forces my head down to his dick like I’m some kind of animal and don’t know what I’m doing. Pushing on my head is so unsexy and insulting. Blatantly asking for it is a turn-off in general, if I want to say no, it makes me feel pressured and uncomfortable. If I want to say yes, it makes me think you have no game and do not know how to turn on a woman without saying something awkward.” — Melody, 25
A dirty bachelor pad
“When trying to get a glass of water at his place (although he should have brought it to me), seeing that the trash is overflowing with old food, sink/counter are full of dishes, or there are any kind of bugs or insects present, it is a definite no-go. If a guy keeps his home and food this disgusting, how unclean are the rest of his habits? Grooming and washing, etc. The situation makes me think he is a filthy person in more aspects of his life.” —Cat, 25
Horseplay
“I am not talking about rough sex here. That is completely different and okay at times. I am talking about when a guy brings you home, and starts treating you like his little brother just because he is bigger than you. I’ve had a guy literally try to wrestle with me in his house, full on. It was extremely unpleasant, not impressive, and just made me think he might be like a weird rabbit in bed.” —Mary, 31
An empty stomach
“If he doesn’t have an appetite and doesn’t eat for whatever reason, that’s just weird and makes passion seem highly unlikely. If we are going to have hot passionate sex, where is he going to get his energy from if he didn’t eat? Also, it makes me feel self-conscious; if he’s not eating, it makes me question myself ; ‘should I not be eating too? is it bad that I did?’ and after those thoughts I definitely don’t want to get naked with this guy. Whether it’s the first time we’ve had sex, or the fifth, it’s officially off the table for tonight. I love food! If he doesn’t, than we are clearly incompatible.” —Kyla, 27
Too much information
“Excuse me? Did I really need to know that? Even if we’ve been dating for a while and that kind of conversation is more acceptable, it doesn’t really put me in the mood. Post-poop sex—not that I would know—seems smelly and dirty. So if you need to unload before sex, don’t announce it.”
—Megan, 30
Bad jokes
“This isn’t funny in any situation, but I’ve had a guy make jokes about it pre-sex; if I’m playing a little hard-to-get, he’d say something like ‘don’t make me rape you, hahaha.’ Wait…what? That is a disgusting and scary topic not to be discussed during foreplay if we don’t know each other well yet, unless you are trying to get me out of your bed and running for the door.” —Julia, 27
Moving too fast
“Kinky sex is great. Love it. But you have to be comfortable with the person on many levels for it to be that great. If he starts tying my hands up or something kinky when we’ve only had sex like three times, it freaks me out a little bit, makes me tense up, get self-conscious, aka, no sex.” —Lindsay, 29
Living with your parents
Living at home at our age is really just not hot. I get that in some dire circumstances it’s necessary, but – and maybe this is superficial of me – it just makes me think the guy can’t take care of himself, therefore can’t take care of me, and is probably either very selfish or very wimpy in bed. If you do live with your parents and I have accepted this and we are dating, do not ask to take me back to your parents’ place late one night. It is uncomfortable and definitely not the way, or time, I want to be introduced to them. — Maria, 26
