60 seconds is all it takes. Well, at least for you and the other 50 million-plus one-minute men in America. About one in three men suffer from premature ejaculation at some point in their lives, according to Mayo Clinic. It’s the most common sexual dysfunction in men. Luckily, once you gain access to the one-minute man club, you don’t have to be a member for life. Follow these eight expert-approved tips to last as long as you (and your partner) want in the sack.
1. Have More Sex
We saved the best tip for, well, first. “Men who suffer from premature ejaculation (PE) need practice, practice, and more practice,” says Larry P. Gassner, M.D., an internal medicine physician with MDVIP.com. “Performance anxiety is by far the most usual cause, and the psychosocial issues associated with PE usually can only be addressed by increasing the partners’ familiarity and comfort with each other.” You heard it, guys. Go have more sex—stat!
These do more than tighten your lady’s down-there grip. They can help you gain some control over when you ejaculate. They work by strengthening to pubococcygeus (often called the PC) muscle, which helps control ejaculation, says Christopher Asandra, M.D., founder and chief medical officer of NuMale Medical Centers. To do Kegels, squeeze the same muscle you would use to stop peeing mid-stream; that’s your PC muscle. Clench this muscle for 10 seconds then release. He recommends performing at least three sets of 10 reps per day. “They require consistency and a real commitment, to see results, just like going to the gym,” he says.
You probably whipped out this trick during high school. And guess what, it still works. However, it’s important to remember that the older you get, the longer your post-orgasm refractory (aka down and out) period tends to be, Gassner says. That means you’ll need to allow yourself more time between performances than you did back in your teen years. Forget that crucial fact and you could end up trading your premature ejaculation for erectile dysfunction, he says. To learn how much time you need to recoup, try experimenting with encore solo sessions.
Some guys complain that sex just doesn’t feel quite as good with a condom. But if you suffer from PE, that complaint could actually work to your advantage, Gassner says. By dulling down-there sensations, condoms can help you last longer in bed. If that doesn’t cut it, you may want to try a special “climax control” condom, Asandra says. Many condom brands, such as Trojan and Durex, sell varieties that are laced with benzocaine, a topical numbing agent, to reduce your sensitivity. If you try these, your partner should pay attention to any reduction in pleasure. While only the inside of the condom contains the desensitizer, Asandra notes that climax control condoms can sometimes reduce women’s sensitivity as well.
Whether one-on-one or with a therapist, communication between you and your partner is huge, Gassner says. “I always recommend communication as first line therapy.” It can help ease any worries over performance and each other’s satisfaction. “By removing the pressure to perform and increasing feelings of intimacy, many men can greatly improve their stamina,” says Asandra. What’s more, if you are also suffering from poor self-image, depression, or have ever been sexually abused—all of which can contribute to premature ejaculation—you should definitely consider bringing a therapist into the conversation, Gassner says. A professional will be able to help you work through any underlying issues so that you can get relief from more than your PE.
Taking deep breaths can help calm your sympathetic (let’s go!) nervous system and prevent PE. “I tell patients to inhale through the nose, keep it in for at least three seconds, and then slowly exhale through the mouth,” Asandra says. “By breathing deeply, we oxygenate the blood more, which causes our brain to release endorphins, creating feelings of well-being and at the same time, reducing stress in the body.” Practice deep breathing two to three times a day until slow, deep breathing starts to become habit. If you’re still stressed before sexy time, try taking a few deep breaths then, he says.
7. Stop-and-Start Sex
Like driving with one foot on the gas and one foot on the breaks, start-and-stop techniques come down to humping and pumping until you’re just about to ejaculate, and then letting up. You can hit pause by simply stopping movement, pulling out entirely, or even squeezing the base of your penis (you can do this or your partner can lend a hand) in order to reduce your erection a bit. After a few seconds (or minutes) of recouping time, you can ease back into intercourse and potentially prolong sex, Asandra says. Either way, it’s best to first try these techniques during solo sessions so that you can learn where your point of no return is. “Over time this helps the man focus and regain control of his climax,” he says. However, in some men, this technique could actually cause anxiety and make matters worse. If that’s you, limit your start-stop routine to masturbation.
If you’re still finishing before you even break a sweat, it’s time to talk to your doctor. Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), the most commonly prescribed antidepressants, including Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft can help alleviate PE. In one Therapeutics and Clinical Risk Management study, men who took three different types of SSRIs for four weeks all lengthened their performances by about two minutes. Your doctor may also prescribe you Promescent, an FDA-approved topical agent that’s applied to the penis 10 minutes before sexual activity to desensitize your stuff.
Luckily, since it’s well absorbed into the skin, it won’t affect your partner’s sensitivity. In extreme cases, a specialist may also administer intracavernosal pharmacotherapy injections to induce an erection that will last for about an hour, even if you ejaculate early. “Not only does this help keep the man erect and continue sexual activity, but continued sexual activity desensitizes hypersensitive nerves in his penis,” says Asandra, who assures us it’s painless. “Through this treatment, a man begins to regain his confidence knowing he’ll be able to satisfy his partner every time. I always say, train the body and in time, the mind will follow,” he says.
