When it comes to breakups, the quick isn’t always so easy. And if she left you in the dust with little to no explanation as to why, you could be scratching your head. Fortunately, we’re here to tell you everything she didn’t—and exactly why she ran for the closest exit without so much as a kiss goodbye.
One study found that women who orgasm more (and masturbate less) are happier in their relationships. But, she may not speak up if she’s not entirely pleased with your performance. “I think a lot of women feel that they’re not happy with the way their male counterparts have sex but are fearful of letting them know because guys have so many inadequacy issues,” says Karen Sherman, Ph.D., a New York-based psychologist and relationship expert. So, rather than tell you that she thinks your sex sessions are less than stellar, she may haven taken off without a word—err, groan.
You want a girl who’s independent—who has a life full of friends and hobbies and a career she’s passionate about that you just so happen to fit right into, correct? Well, guess what—she wants the same of you. “Most women don’t want to take responsibility for a man—that’s a turn off,” says Sherman. You don’t need to be (and shouldn’t be) a control freak, but always wanting of her (there’s a fine line between a well-placed “I miss you” and a constant need for attention) can come across as wimpy—and leave her looking elsewhere, Sherman says. Interesting enough, research published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin even found that while men found attentive, responsive, “nice” women attractive both sexually and as a long-term partner, women did not rate those traits as equally alluring.
Call your mom post-break up? That could be the issue, says Sherman. While no one’s complaining about a nice mother/son relationship, your girlfriend wants to be the No. 1 woman in your life—not the No. 2. “If a guy is a mama’s boy, eventually a woman will feel like mom is the priority—not her,” says Sherman. Plus, if mom’s still weighing in on every decision, it’ll come across like you can’t make them on your own, making you seem younger and more immature in her eyes.
Micro-manage her finances? Critique her cooking? Challenge her decisions? A little loving advice every now and then isn’t such a bad thing, but trying to take charge of every little thing she does is a surefire way to send a girl running for the hills, Sherman says.
A recent Gallup poll found that men ages 18 to 29 are less likely to visit the dentist than women their age or anyone older than them. The bottom line: There comes an age when dentist’s appointments really do matter and more deodorant doesn’t take the place of a shower. And if she noticed before you did, chances are that’s why she excused herself from the relationship.
Research shows that while men are more narcissistic than women, the trait’s also been linked to an inability to have long-term relationships. That makes sense—but even a small dose of narcissism can make your relationship take a turn for the worse, says Sherman who notes that people want their partners to have a genuine interest in their own lives as well as their own.
